7 Habits of Highly Successful Teens

Habit 5

5. Seek First to Understand, and then to be Understood

Because most people don’t listen very well, one of the great frustrations in life is that many don’t feel understood? This habit will ensure your teen learns the most important communication skill there is: active listening. Why is this habit the key to communication? It’s because the deepest need of the human heart is to be understood. Everyone wants to be respected and valued for who they are—a unique, one-of-a-kind, never-to-be-cloned individual. People who won’t expose their soft middles unless they feel genuine love and understanding. Once they feel it, however, they will tell you more than you may want to hear. People don’t care how much they know you until they know how much you care. Listen with your eyes, heart, and ears. 7 percent of communications is contained in the words we use. The rest comes from body language (53 percent) and how we say words, or the tone and feeling reflected in your voice (40 percent). Most people are eager to talk and had rather talk then listen. We have one mouth and two ears. This means we should listen twice as much as we talk. We actually learn more while listening rather than when we talk. Learn to listen and listen to learn. Listen, really listen, for understanding. Seek first to understand then to be understood—Listen.